Much human suffering results from fear. Although it may masquerade as anger, giving in to its irrational energy can lead to poor decision-making, broken relationships and considerable hardship, especially if it affects your career. Learning what the primal fears are and how to address them builds emotional regulation so that you can respond to events in your life mindfully instead of reacting out of instinct.
What are the primal fears? Here’s what lurks in every human heart and how to address it.
What Are the Primal Fears?
The ultimate primal fear is ceasing to be. Humans don’t know what happens after death, as much as they have their belief systems. One thing they know for certain is that once a person passes, they are gone for good. What happens afterward is the province of spirituality.
It’s like The Nothing in the old movie “The Neverending Story.” Humans can’t often express it in words, can’t even fully conceptualize the idea, but the thought of winking out, ceasing to be, everything that matters ending — it’s a deep, inexpressible fear. The only way to combat it is through finding connection and meaning, discovering what matters to you and clinging to it like a passenger tossed overboard into stormy seas clinging to a life raft.
7 Primal Fears and How to Conquer Them
Understanding the underlying angst beneath the seven primal fears leads to a path to addressing them.
1. Losing Loved Ones
Few things plunge you into the depths of grief like losing someone you love. Unfortunately, it’s inevitable — each human life is tenuous and brief.
The only healthy way to conquer this primal fear is to show those you love how much you appreciate them at every opportunity. It means getting mindful, and prioritizing what truly matters in life. Is that high-paying job worth it if it results in spending months away from your loved ones? Once you can meet your basic needs, you’re free to focus on what’s important. Still, far too many people continue pursuing material wealth at the cost of their relationships and then wonder why they feel hollow and lonely.
Prioritize your relationships with those you love. Make time, even amid difficulty, to support, uplift and comfort one another. You never know when it may be your last chance to say, “I love you.”
2. Losing Your Home
A secure home is a basic human need. It’s your protection from the elements and much more. Unfortunately, it’s all too easy to lose. High rents don’t only increase your chances of losing housing, but they prevent you from saving for a more permanent abode.
Losing housing can start a downward spiral that leads to further mental trauma and is difficult to escape. Simply existing in a public space can lead to fines that hit harder when you don’t have any money to begin with.
The best way to overcome this fear is to amass resources, which means money but much more. It means learning what agencies are available and what they can and can’t do and possibly working with a professional counselor to learn strategies to improve your financial security. Calling 211 can connect you with social service agencies, and doing so before you reach the crisis point is best — please don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help.
3. Poor Health
Poor health triggers the original primal fear of nonexistence and more. Sickness often results in challenges meeting your other obligations, like work, affecting your financial and possibly housing security. Although it’s not pleasant to think about, learning the warning signs of common conditions like diabetes and how you can prevent them can assuage this fear by empowering you to take proactive measures to protect your health.
Doing so might cause you to overcome other fears. For example, as many as 30% of folks avoid the dentist because of a phobia or aversion to discomfort. However, this reluctance can lead to future problems that are even worse, as researchers have linked poor oral hygiene to dementia and heart disease.
4. Public Humiliation
Public humiliation stings because it harms one of the principal defenses against the void — connection. Having all eyes on you in a negative way leaves you feeling isolated, alone and shamed. That shame often prevents you from taking the very actions you must to rebuild bonds and leads to further hurt instead.
The best defenses against this one of the seven primal fears are:
- Mindfulness: Spend time daily tuning into your thoughts and feelings. As you gain awareness of why you do the things you do, you begin to recognize what triggers you to behave in embarrassing ways. Identifying them and planning what interventions to use if you get emotional can help you avoid impulsive reactions that result in public scorn.
- Accountability: If you do mess up, admit it. As the old song goes, sorry can seem like the hardest word, but you can’t mend fences without acknowledging that what you did hurt or offended others. If you fail to accept responsibility for the consequences of your actions, people interpret your behavior as not caring or even justifying your misdeeds. It won’t lead to reconciliation or help you regain their respect.
5. Natural Disasters
Fears of natural disasters have increased in recent years thanks to climate change fueling more extreme weather. It’s a rational concern, as the devastation wreaked by a hurricane or wildfire can lead to any of the other seven primal fears.
The best way to conquer this fear is to prepare yourself as much as possible. Compile bug-in supplies and a bug-out bag for each family member. Rehearse what you will do in various extreme weather scenarios — for example, where will you reconnect if disaster strikes while you’re at work or school? Ensure you carry the insurance coverage you need and discuss disaster planning with relatives who live elsewhere so you are prepared to support one another.
6. Random Acts of Violence
Fears of random acts of violence have become more prevalent as school shootings continue at record rates and political divisiveness stirs civil disquiet. Fortunately, combatting this one of the seven primal fears also trains and moderates your innate stress response.
Learn how to protect yourself. Doing so means getting a little exercise by investing in a self-defense class, preferably one that focuses on real-world scenarios over tournament sparring. Physical activity moderates your cortisol levels, a stress hormone that can become problematic in excess. A calm mind improves your situational awareness. Tune into your surroundings and listen to your instincts — if a situation or person seems “off,” trust your gut.
7. Death
Death is the ultimate of the seven primal fears. It’s the sentiment behind John Keats’ famous poem, “When I Have Fears That I May Cease to Be.”
The only antidote for this primal fear is to connect with something higher than yourself. For many, it means finding solace in a deeply-held belief system. For others, it means finding a purpose for your life and living it. Humans aren’t privileged enough to know the impact they have on others and the world any more than they know what happens after they die. However, acting in kindness and love creates a legacy of goodness, sending a psychic ripple through the Universe — I was here, and I mattered.
The 7 Primal Fears
Knowing what the seven primal fears are and how to address them can significantly improve your mental health. They all spring from a singular source but take different flavors and require varied approaches to overcome. Spend time in mindfulness, evaluating how your reactions to the seven primal fears above serve you and take proactive steps to choose your responses with care and brace yourself against life’s inevitable storms.